Ok, so why do local J families always either eat at the local chopsuey or at J food, for all family dinners?
Family dinner with the other side of the family -- I hardly have family dinner with the other side -- usually it's when my JW aunt -- and yes, JW is a religion -- comes here to "visit"
Well, I wouldn't call it a "visit" as much as it is she's conveniently here because her church is having some function here -- well, this time she's on her way to Nippon for apparently church and travel reasons, so off to dinner we go
Now, there's something that I wish to say about my other aunt -- who actually lives here -- I never truly understand where she's coming from
So the story this time is that my very estranged cousin wanted the family to meet his new wife from Japan -- so my aunt said well, if the schedules all matched up, she could have come to dinner at her house
But since we are having dinner out at a restaurant, now she can't come? ... I just don't get it
The other issue that I have is that I don't understand how when plans are made for dinner that they didn't say oh, bring SD -- this irritates me more than slightly
I have a feeling it's my aunt, no not the one from the mainland that has done this oversight -- I guess 5 years is not long enough to have that info sink in when you hardly see someone? not
The stupid part is, when we are there, they will say oh, how come SD didnt come? -- to which I will say, well gee, you didn't say to bring her now did you? well, I'm not the one doing the inviting now am I? -- yeah, I so would say that
I think as local J people we are kind of repressed in that sense -- like we don't say what bothers us, until it goes FULLY volcano -- and that's unfortunate because misunderstandings can become very huge given years and years passing by
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SD and I were talking about the siege mentality couple of nights ago -- well, actually I was
If I were to define it, it is how when local Japanese women here have a kid, married or not -- their family at some point, should the relationship go south with the father -- adopt a siege mentality and just get on with life
Often, the family will care for it in an extended manner -- where mom might be still going to school (or try and get her life together), and her parents (the actual GPs) are the ones raising and caring for the kid -- so the child develops a quasi-parental bond with their grandparents
I'm not really sure why it is that it still happens today -- but believe me, it does -- and I guess if you are the guy in that situation, well you're either really and truly off the hook -- or you're screwed, you probably won't have an iota to do with your child's life
But I guess, it's "okay" because by the time that the mother gets her stuff together -- well perhaps some other good hearted local guy, most likely Jpnse, will be good enough to marry the woman and incorporate that child into their new family
The odd thing that I find about this thing is how the women have children from typically non-Jpnse guys -- and then later a substantial number of them marry Jpnse guys -- I mean, I really don't know what to make of it at all, especially in light of the fact that realistically speaking, there aren't that many "pure J" guys around
It's just a funny thing I noticed -- there really is no point about it, other than just thinking aloud about stuff I have observed
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