Satan's Luau

It was that tandem of fucking morons, Rock and Sandler, that cursed the Yankees today

FOX broadcast today of Buck and McCarver ... although I really like Joe, I can't stand McC, he's like the Bill Walton of baseball broadcasting

TOP 1: Pavano going for Yankees -- Damon hits the first pitch off the wall in right center for a leadoff double -- Renteria lays down a sacbunt, fielded by Pavano, the runner to third and Renteria out at first, one away

Another first pitch swing ... Ortiz hits a sacfly to left, Damon will challenge Womack's arm ... no chance, one run scores, two down, Red Sox lead 1-0

Another first pitch swing ... Manny singles past third and into left ... to me, in other sports this is where you get a T-O

Runner at first, one down for Nixon, he works a full count, then grounds the payoff pitch to second, play is made at first to end the rally

BOT 1: The undefeated Clement going for the Bosox today -- Jeter is frozen, down looking, one gone -- Womack goes down swinging, two away -- Sheffield also goes down swinging ... and Clement has struck out the side

TOP 2: Full count to Varitek, he lines a leadoff single to center -- Olerud lines a single to right, runners now first and second -- Mueller is down looking, one down

Bellhorn grounds to second, the force play is made at second, two down -- runners now at the corners, two down for Damon, he singles to right, one run scores, and the runner to third on the play, Red Sox 2-0

Renteria grounds the first pitch to short ... the throw to second, called SAFE (replay showed him OUT), another run scores, the score is now 3-0

Runners first and second, two down for Ortiz, he goes down swinging to end the rally ... the two runs this inning come after TWO outs, story of the season so far

BOT 2: Full count to Matsui, he hits a flare to center, one down -- ARod lasers the first pitch off the wall in center for a double -- Tino grounds to first, the runner to third, two away -- Giambi draws a two out walk, runners now at the corners -- but Flaherty lines out to right to end the inning

TOP 3: Manny lines a leadoff single over the jumping Cano, and into right -- Nixon hits the first pitch and flies out to right center, one down -- Varitek grounds a single into right, runners now first and second

Full count to Olerud, the runners go, he hits a comebacker off Pavano, it kicks to short, Jeter puts the runner out at first, runners second and third, two down -- Mueller grounds to first to retire the side

BOT 3: Cano goes down swinging, one away -- Jeter is plunked with the first pitch -- trainers and Torre out, he will stay in

Womack grounds to short, the force play is made at second ... the throw to first is not in time, two down -- Womack steals second on the 1-1 to Sheffield -- runner on second, two down, Sheffield draws a walk, runners now first and second

Runners first and second, two down for Matsui, he goes down swinging to end the inning

TOP 4: Bellhorn flies to center, one down -- Damon grounds to second, two away -- Renteria lines a two out single to center -- Ortiz draws a walk, runners now first and second

After the 1-0 to Manny, Stottlemyre out to confer -- Manny lines a single to left, one run scores, runners still first and second, Red Sox 4-0

Stanton warming for Yankees -- Nixon singles to center, another run scores, runners still first and second, the score is now 5-0

Torre out to get Pavano -- Stanton now pitching for Yankees, he will face Varitek -- Varitek goes down swinging to end the two out rally ... another 2 runs after 2 outs, that's FOUR on the day

BOT 4: ARod grounds a leadoff single up the middle -- the first pitch to Tino bounces away from Varitek, runner to second on the play -- Tino draws a walk, runners at first and second

Giambi grounds to first, the throw to second gets the force, the return throw gets by Clement at first, runners now at the corners, one away

Flaherty goes down swinging, two down -- Cano bloops to right to end the inning

TOP 5: Olerud hits a comebacker off Stanton, kicks to second, and Olerud is put out at first, one down -- Mueller hits the first pitch and lines a single to right -- Bellhorn also hits the first pitch and lines a single to left, runners now first and second

One down for Damon, he slaps a hit through the right side, the bases are now loaded for Renteria -- Torre takes out Stanton

Quantrill in to face Renteria with the bases loaded -- Renteria goes the opposite way and deposits the 1-0 into the right field stands, a grand slam, the Red Sox now lead 9-0 ... and the rout is on

Ortiz draws a walk -- Manny goes the opposite way, and singles to right, runners now first and second -- Nixon just unloads on the first pitch and deposits it over the wall in center, a three run shot ... and now the game is out of hand, the score is now 12-0

Varitek pops foul to third, two down -- the Red Sox bat around, Olerud hits the first pitch and flies to left to end the carnage

BOT 5: Since the rout is on Sanchez likely in to replace Jeter, he hits a weak comebacker to the pitcher, and is put out at first, one down -- Womack slaps a single into right -- Sierra in, hitting in Sheffield's spot, he pops to left, two down -- Bernie in for Matsui, he singles to center, runners now first and third

Runners at the corners, two away for ARod, he draws a walk, bases are now loaded -- full count to Tino, he grounds the payoff to first to end the inning

TOP 6: Lots of defensive replacements for the Yankees: Sierra in RF, Bernie in CF, Russ Johnson at 3B, and Sanchez at SS -- Q still pitching -- Mueller singles to right -- Youkilis PR for Mueller -- Bellhorn down looking, one down -- Damon pops out to short center, two away -- Vazquez in for Renteria, he goes down swinging to retire the side

BOT 6: Defensive replacement for the Red Sox: Vazquez at SS, Payton at LF, and Youkilis at 3B -- Giambi lines a leadoff single to center -- Flaherty goes down swinging, one away

Runner at first, one down for Cano, he grounds to second, play is made at first, two down -- runner now at second for Sanchez, he works a full count, the payoff is grounded to second to end the inning

TOP 7: Ortiz lines the first pitch into right for a leadoff single -- Payton jacks the first pitch over the centerfield wall, a two run HR (and the THIRD off of Q), the Red Sox lead 14-0

Nixon grounds to second, one down -- Varitek also grounds to second, two away -- Olerud hits a two out single up the middle -- Youkilis taps one in front of the plate, the catcher fields and puts him out at first to end the rally

Seventh Inning Slaughter, Red Sox lead, 14-0

Ronan live? Maybe that's what doinked the Yankees LOL

BOT 7: Shoppach at C, Clement out after an excellent start, Timlin now pitching -- Womack grounds a leadoff single into right -- Sierra grounds to first, one down, runner now at second

Bernie lines a single to center, one run scores ... the shutout is over, and the Red Sox lead 14-1

Russ Johnson hits the first pitch and lines a single to right center, runners now at the corners -- Tino flies to center, the runner does not tag from third, two away -- Myers warms for Bosox

Giambi down swinging, foul tip to the catcher to end the rally

TOP 8: Groom in for Yankees -- Bellhorn flies to left, one gone -- Damon goes the opposite way and loops a single to left -- Vazquez loops a single to left, runners at first and second

Ortiz slaps the first pitch past a diving Cano and into right, the bases are now loaded -- Payton grounds to third, one run scores, the force is made at second, but no other play ... as Cano bobbles, two down -- Red Sox 15-1

Runners at the corners for Nixon, he lines a single to center, another run scores, the score is now 16-1

Runners at first and second, two down for Shoppach, he is plunked with an 0-2 pitch, loading the bases again -- Olerud grounds one into right, again past a diving Cano, one run scores, the score is now a ridiculous 17-1

And to top it off, the Red Sox seem to have broken the scoreboard ... as the time was incorrect and now the score is being reapplied inning by inning

Bases still loaded, two down for Youkilis, he flies out to center to end the rally

BOT 8: Myers now pitching for Boston -- Flaherty grounds hard to third, one away -- Cano flies out to center, two down -- Sanchez grounds up the middle, the shortstop ranges and makes the play to end the inning

TOP 9: Groom still in at mop-up -- Bellhorn lines a single into right ... and that is Boston's TWENTY SEVENTH hit, whoa -- Damon flies out to left center, one down -- Vazquez lines out to third, two away -- Ortiz hits a high fly out to left to retire the side

BOT 9: Foulke now pitching for Boston -- Womack pops to third, one down -- Sierra grounds to second, two away -- full count to Bernie, the payoff ... he flies out to center to end the game

FINAL: Red Sox win, 17-1

Hooboy.

(note on 6/8: May the good Lord grant me karmic blessings for sitting through this debacle ... or even better ... BLESS THE YANKEES)

Season series
Yankees: 4
Red Sox: 4

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